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Sapphires & Pearls

How I See The World As A Woman

2/28/2018

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DEVOTIONAL READING
Something Outside of Herself, poem by Michelle Murphy
I get my typewriter out
And it says to me, “Push my buttons.”
This is what I type:
   Psychosis wipes away the tears 
   Of frozen words.
   You say, “She’s possessed!”
    But that does not capture the meaning.
    Words are spectrums - 
    Not concrete shapes.
    I say, “She’s also on the spectrum 
   Of inspired - 
   Something outside of herself causes
   Her to dance, to tick.
   "If it’s not black or white, 
   Then it’s gray?”
   No! What we’re talking about 
   Isn't even colors.
   It’s shades - or shadows really
   And how they appear 
   And disappear.
   Mental illness is a bad choice of terms.
   I got issues - you got issues.
   That’s it!
   And hell no! - I don’t want 
   Your issues instead of mine.
   I have abstract thoughts
   That have broken me from the 
   Wrist ties that keep us locked away,
   And from reasoning and speaking.
   I’ve slipped away enough times
   To know I don’t do any kind of
   Cocktail that will make me slip again.
   It’s a question I’ve faced - 
   Whether to have a daughter that 
   Might be a duplicate of me.
   I would protect her.
   Oh glorious! I’ve climbed a mountain
   Before and given a speech to no one.
   Oh dreadful! I’ve nailed a semi-truck
   And only by God’s grace stand here now.
   Oh police! Oh naked in terror
   Running down the street.
   Sheer terror makes my rides
   Not worth any set of dollar bills.
   I am older than I look.
   I’ve been possessed and inspired!
   At war and brought about peace!
   I am known in the spirit world
   And I have been anointed. 
   Oil has glazed down my head - my crown.
I put the typewriter down and speak.
I said psychosis wipes away the tears of frozen words.
That cocktails can free us from our prisons.
If you zero in on thousands of years what are ladies still talking about?
The glorious, the dreadful, and the police.
Inspiration, war and peace.
Cocktails, the spirit world, my issues - her issues.
Protecting their daughters.
The woman’s shadow has always been there, it never disappears.
But almost all shadows are worth chasing after.
Something outside of herself causes
Her to dance, to tick.
"If it’s not black or white, 
Then it’s gray?”
No! What we’re talking about 
Isn't even colors.
It’s shades - or shadows really
And how they appear 
And disappear.

DEVOTIONAL MESSAGE
There's a reason women still live in a shadow of what they could be. For American women, today is the age of anxiety, the age of a sure-to-fail expectation of success, the age of general naiveness among the masses, and the age of an explosion in creativity. These all contribute to the challenges of being a woman.

Anxiety is talked about by all the experts; it's a growing problem in the United States. American culture, technology, education, nutrition, genetic expression, and exposure to elements in the environment all play key roles in this discussion. Anxiety affects all sectors of the population. How it affects women is key to who women are; who a woman is, is not arbitrary. But who that is, is not simple. There is a shadow of women from the past that follow us today. In many ways we cast today the same shadow as from past times; we weep together with our past and future, and we sing together.

Today, a surefire success campaign in the public domain will expect a woman to be equal to a man in their shared domain - the competition is this way in many career-fields. Women do this body-double with males plus she is expected to surge in the home, among her family and friends and as a parent. Not every woman feels this bar to compare herself to, but a large number of women in my age-group certainly have - I have.

Even with the age of instant news and information, generations have been steered away from real information through careful news administration, conspired busyness about daily life, and Prussian-style public schooling. This lack of careful study and accurate understanding affects the world-views of millions of women. But, many women escape this delusion by focusing on what is true to their inner circles - women have a tendency to answer back to the war on for their minds.

Women in America are free to create in all sectors, and they score a creative-high in all sectors. Big thinkers, optimistic dreamers, careful students, readers, engineers, artists - all assets to our world. The explosion in freedom and free-markets has sent women into overdrive, some of which we have been unprepared for. The act of being creative usually entails deep employment of the heart and sometimes vulnerability. Yet, many women are not prepared to handle their emotions in a responsible way. It affects work and relationships, our mental and spiritual health.

These are complex and tumultuous times, yet mankind is better off for adding women to the equation in a larger way (as in recent history here in America). Yet many things have to be worked through. Some things stand out like a sore thumb as problems, yet obstacles stand there providing us an uphill battle. It's an uphill battle women will continue to climb. 


DEVOTIONAL PRAYER
Pray for a woman in your life.
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    The author can be reached at mnmurphy@usit.net.

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